Not What I Expected

Lifestyle, New York

This past year has been a challenge. Sometimes, it is a huge grace that we can’t see too far ahead of us. If I knew what the year would be like last September, I would be very discouraged. Many artistic plans and visions did not come to fruition like I thought. I had hoped to find a mentor in New York, to be published in a magazine, have more paid gigs. In other art forms, I had hoped to dance more or have taken an improv comedy class. Financially, I hoped to paid off my credit card debt, accumulated out of necessity. I’ve done these things but I can count on one hand about how many.

But, the things I can say that I’m thankful for are the people who have stood by me and encouraged me to pursue the things I do have control over. Here are some things that I am grateful to say they happened;

  • For six months, I went sugar free, lost a few pounds and encountered fewer headaches.
  • I achieved my reading goal of two books a month.
  • I took so many photos including a dream trip to Maine, my little sisters wedding and various New York adventures.
  • I filled three journals.
  • I joined a bible study.
  • I attended weddings and parties as an honored guest.

These are not typical New York success stories but who said they had to be? It’s a daily pressure to fight against. The pressure of feeling like I’m not doing enough, networking enough, working hard enough. I’m in a prime location, prime age to live the most successful life. I don’t know what’s next but I am resting in knowing that my plans are not mine, but are according to a higher plan. Nothing is a mistake and all will work out for good.

The most consoling thing for me is that I have beautiful products of time; photos, journals and now a sketchpad I started to document the sights I see.





3 thoughts on “Not What I Expected

  1. YOU ROCK! Everything you are doing sounds like a pretty “successful life” to me – friends, creative work, a city you love, a continuing to look for ways to grow.

    I’ve stopped blogging much mostly due to a feeling that I’m not living the life I want to live (and haven’t been, really, since college), and I’m focusing this next month on figuring out exactly what I can do to change that going forward. Hope you get unstuck too!


    1. Aw, thank you! I totally understand the feeling of seeing your life and it’s not even close to what you hoped or imagined. I’m learning that some seasons are just like that and somehow they lead us to the next step of times of more abundance. Life’s ebb and flow, I suppose. Keep writing when you feel inspired though! Your talents and passions will never leave you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad through the things that you did not expect you were able to achieve goals and have fun. I know what you mean – it has been a trying year for me and it taught me so much. September is looking brighter plus it is my birthday month and autumn is nearby. Woo hoo. 🙂


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