I’m sitting at my work desk eating a muffin (duh), drinking chai tea and watching about a video of Becky Murphy. She is a fabulous illustrator I heard about recently. In her video, she says, “I never want to be confused with taking myself too seriously.” I thought to myself that I don’t want to either but I’m also realizing that it’s very hard to do. I’m surrounded by people who take themselves very seriously; self-absorbed New Yorkers.
With this chapter of self discovery, I know that I am not that kind of person. I love to find the humor in situations and share that with others. Unfortunately, the people around me at my 9-5 can’t be bothered and I think I’ve become too serious lately myself. It’s not entirely my fault. It’s because of the nature of my office; extremely quiet and stuffy. Normally I’m content with doing a good job and simply making money at my job but this serious attitude starts to make me wonder where I really fit in.
It’s odd that New York is the tortured artist mecca. It’s also filled with business people who are fighting their serious-taking-selves to the top. How can these worlds exist together? Even in the arts, where I think I belong, people probably take themselves seriously there too otherwise, who will, right? It’s a dichotomy that I’ve never thought about before and I’m wondering where my place is exactly. It is difficult to make sense of it as I try to be easy going and lighthearted while being just as hardworking and driven as the people around me. I don’t think they have to be mutually exclusive, it just feels like they are right now.
I know it won’t stay this way forever. I’m sure I’ll be in a place where I can be more myself and…less serious.