Last night I went to a panel of working women at Bethlehem Baptist Church where six women of varying careers and stages discussed what working women face today. The church as come alongside stay-at-home moms because society does not support them but in doing so, they have left out women who perhaps must work outside the home or need to be both.
The biggest thing that I took from the talk was that there are many reasons why woman choose to work. Some have to because they have not found a man to financially provide for them. Other women knew that they have wanted to be a career woman all their life. Personally I’ve never idolized the stay-at-home mom like many girls I’ve grown up with. A career is something that I’ve chased after and desire it more than anything and, I was humbly struck, more than God. The women said that no matter what role you desire, the one role in your life that you are called to will never change and that is to be a child of God. How simplistic. As the word of God does, it illuminated my heart and sinful intentions as I contemplated where I’ve drifted to and who I’ve become. I realize, today, who I don’t want to be.
I don’t want to be that girl who
-Only cares about getting what she can out of every social group
-Only cares about getting ahead at whatever cost by disregarding family, church or friends
-Is grumpy[cat] all the time because she’s not where she wants to be
-Takes the people around her for granted
-Does not care about a relationship with God who is the only one who can sustain and provide for her
These things are who I am and they are ugly. There are so many voices in the world that say put yourself first, if people are not benefitting you, maybe they shouldn’t be in your life and do everything you can to make your dreams come true. I’ve followed all these thoughts and have discovered that I am so empty. For about two years, through college, I’ve had to pour myself into…myself: classes, catch-up-on-me-time, work, working out. This has made me a very self-indulged person but now I’m ready to give. There is receiving in giving and I want it not for my glory but for God’s. I’ve discovered that I am very proud and don’t want to admit that my life belongs to God because he saved me called me to be his daughter so the sooner I stop lying to myself, the more fully I can live my life. No, not my life, His life that he has for me.
I want to be that girl who
-Loves God and puts Him first
-Loves people because Jesus loves her so much and that truth is real to her
-Loves herself by doing the right thing, takes care of her body and telling herself truth
-Has integrity in the workplace and who goes the extra mile to work
-LOVES to help through humility and considering others greater than herself
-Is thankful for everything in her life: people, current job, singleness, food and treats them as gifts
Through this job search, I’ve learned that my scope of acceptable job positions that I would consider has gotten smaller and smaller. This has caused a greater dissatisfaction and discouragement. I’m trying to control and tell God EXACTLY what I want and won’t be satisfied with anything less. How terrible. Even the job I have right now, I treat it like nothing. Like I’m above it. It’s like I’m saying to God, “yes, you provided this job a few years ago and it’s been great but now I’m done and don’t like it anymore.” How can I accept anything God might have for me in the next step if I’m so unhappy with what I have now? If I treat his gifts like nothing, he can’t possibly give me something that will make me happy. I need to start accepting himself before he takes everything away. So, this blog will continue to be about business, social media, networking and finding the big-girl job but it will prefaced with the idea that God is my ultimate business connection, professional mentor, boss and financial provider. He is my Father. And I’m done pretending that He’s not.