Recently, I finished a book called “The Defining Decade, why your twenties matter – and how to make the most of them now,” by Meg Jay. It was recommended by a well-rounded reader in my book club. It is written by a therapist who has observed singles and couples who have lived through their twenties. She refers to them as “twentysomethings.” It is a great book that acknowledges the attitude that many twentysomethings have in regards to careers, love and self-efficacy.
What I learned was that some attitudes I have adopted by just being a product of society without really choosing to believe them. For instance, twentysomethings tend to put serious relationships off thinking that they have a lot of time before settling down. I haven’t turned anyone down that would make a desirable match but I feel more open to a serious relationship now because I don’t need to have more fun or accomplish more before committing. Twentysomethings feel like they will be missing out if they commit to early or being committed to someone should come later even if they are ready now. Meg explains how turning 30 can be like the “bait-and-switch” attitude where throughout their twenties, people are conditioned to believe they shouldn’t want to settle down until their thirty. When thirty comes around, they better hurry up and pick someone so they don’t end up alone as their changes for a good match are shrinking by the minute.
When it comes to career, Meg talks about how twentysomethings take their time making up their mind. What she encourages is to not take this time for granted and that every job on a resume counts. Again, do not wait until thirty to take your career seriously if you have the choice. Of course, not everyone can know exactly what they want. Striving towards a certain path in any small way will help twentysomethings feel like their life has a focus and direction.
Would I recommend it? Yes, especially if you are approaching twenty or in your twenties. No, if you are a little beyond 35 unless you are totally secure in where you are at in life. At any stage, it is a great book to read and pass on to friends or people you mentor.